There’s a family given us when we were born. There’s another we make when we grow up. And there’s another we choose along the way.
There’s a family given us when we were born. There’s another we make when we grow up. And there’s another we choose along the way.
But what binds these families together is Love. The Greek form of this love is Storge(Original Greek: στοργή (storgé). Storge is the natural love that family members have for one another.
You never had to choose who got to be your biological mother and father. You never had to choose who got to be your biological brothers and sisters. You never had to choose who got to be your cousins, uncles, and aunties. But God knew. The Bible says in Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV) “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”
Physically, the Baby Jesus did not know or choose to be brought forth through the womb of Mary. But God knew. Mary and Joseph by that natural familial love and the divine orchestrations and direction of God loved and protected Jesus as a baby when Herod sought to kill him. So most of the time, for the family God gives us, they first express Love, especially from the “mother”. Through the expression of love shown by the mother and (sometimes) father, we also learn to love our younger and elder siblings most of the time born to the same mother. This then also influences our Chosen Family and Made Family.
As we grow up along the way there is another family we choose. In this case, we are the ones that are making the choice but it matters where the direction is coming from. At this point, some if not most of us have received salvation and the gift of the Holy Spirit so we are directed accordingly. These are people in our lives we come to love just the familial love. Most of the time, it starts as friendships and then it becomes like family and then we sometimes end up integrating them into our biological family. In our Chosen Family, we feel we are under control of the choices but as it grows, they also come to love us the same way we love them. These are people in our lives we wish to spend most of our time with and always want to talk to and share moments with. They are there to help us fulfill our assignments. We are just naturally compelled to make any sacrifices for them and as they will also make for us. We are usually not related by blood to this person or people. But we put so much trust and confidence in them that we are willing to entrust our biological family into their care. Similarly, as our Lord Jesus grew, He chose another family—His disciples (John 13:18).
In Matthew 12:48-50, he was also speaking to the crowd and someone told him his mother and brothers were outside wanting to talk to him but he pointed to his disciples and said here are my mother and brothers.
46 While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. 47 Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.”
48 He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49 Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” [Matthew 12:48-50]
Also, Jesus was able to entrust his earthly mother into the care of one of his disciples John when he hunged on the cross in Matthew 13:55-56. Even though he has so many earthly biological brothers, he asks John to care for his mother. John was called the disciple Jesus Loved. And his presence at His crucifixion indicates the length to which the chosen family will go for us. We see that this particular disciple was found everywhere Jesus was even when most of the other 12 disciples weren’t. He was always near the Lord Jesus. We understand from the scriptures that Jesus’ relationship with John was different. He was with the Lord Jesus on two other disciples (Peter and James) on that high mountain at His transfiguration in Matthew 17. At the Last Supper, we got something so touching about Jesus’ relationship with John when Jesus identified which of his disciples would betray him ( John 13: 21-30). We understand from the scriptures that John was leaning on Jesus’ bosom and Peter motioned to him to ask Jesus who it was that would betray Him. From the following verse, we understand that what John asked about who it is that will betray Him and the Lord’s response to Him, was only said to John’s hearing.
To put it in perspective, it’s one thing to ask a friend or business partner to finish the work you’ve started. It’s something else entirely to ask a friend to take care of arguably the most important woman in your life when you are gone. This is no small request. It also takes a high level of trust and confidentiality to even tell another man who will be responsible for your betrayal in the next couple of hours.
The final one is the family we make who ends up becoming related to us by blood. As a man grows up, he finds a wife ( Proverbs 18:22) and makes a family ( biological children result from it). But like I said from the beginning, it is important we make God the center of this union and the family we make. Because on the natural it may seem like we are the ones making the family but God is. You could hear couples say things like “we will start having or making children after maybe 2 years into our marriage”. Proverbs 18:22 says when a man finds a wife… but you know that woman was made by God (Genesis 2:18). So it is important to seek God in finding the woman the Lord made to be your wife.
18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” [Genesis 2:8]
I was discussing the subject of finding a wife with a beloved sister some time back about how unions or marriages made by our parents last longer than the ones found. Because most of the time in our finding or search for a partner our emotions (lust) get in the way. That is another kind of love ( Eros). It’s a strong appreciation for one’s physical being or beauty and is usually marked by the sensation that you can’t get enough of someone. It’s an insatiable love. Maybe, I will discuss that in another subject using Isaac and Rebecah and Jacob and Rachel.
Using the Lord Jesus’ examples again, we understand that He also came to make a family not by blood but by the Spirit. He came to make us spiritual children of our Heavenly Father – sons and daughters of God.
Therefore, since we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Divine Nature is like gold or silver or stone, something shaped by art and man’s devising [Acts 17:29]
In essence, it’s vital to understand that whether our family is GIVEN, CHOSEN, or MADE, the truth is that God is behind it all. We may be given a family through our biological parents, choose another through our friends, and create one through marriage, but God orchestrates each relationship for His purpose. Ultimately, it’s important that we become His spiritual children through the Lord Jesus Christ… This is where making the Lord Jesus Christ your Lord and personal savior comes in and you start living for him. You become a child of God by faith (Galatians 3:26)
So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith.[Galatians 3:26]
If you have just read this article and have not made Jesus your Lord and personal saviour I invite you to make Jesus Christ the Lord of your life by praying thus:
“O Lord God, I believe with all my heart in Jesus Christ, Son of the living God. I believe He died for me and God raised Him from the dead. I believe He’s alive today. I confess with my mouth that Jesus Christ is the Lord of my life from this day. Through Him and in His Name, I have eternal life; I’m born again. Thank you, Lord, for saving my soul! I’m now a child of God. Hallelujah!”
Prayer of Salvation
Congratulations! You are now a child of God. To receive more information on how you can grow as a Christian, please get in touch with me at teevoworld@gmail.com
By Desire Sackitey
